We're facebook friends in real life
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
