Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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