WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
