You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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