Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
