I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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