It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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