i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Alive.
So much puke
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
