I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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