I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize