accomplished twins. life is a go
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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