Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
