Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
