don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
