i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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