K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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