those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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