so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
