Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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