she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
