We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
