I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
