idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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