Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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