I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
