WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
