I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
