at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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