Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
