this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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