You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
