I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do herpes really smell.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
