friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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