dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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