the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize