i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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