It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I want a musical about memes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
