just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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