Tell her she can't have a vagina
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
