Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
