I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
pray to the hookup gods
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
