You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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