dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
