I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
