I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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