That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
