names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
