The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
