It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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