if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
