How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
