READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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