that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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