Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
did you just send me my own nude
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize