Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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