Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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