just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
