I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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