i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
