You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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