Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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