Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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