'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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