Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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